


letters that you left

by bwee



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-08
Updated: 2016-08-17
Packaged: 2018-07-13 01:11:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7132040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bwee/pseuds/bwee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Doyoon has some things he needs to say.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Dear Seungcheol,

Well. This is pretty fucked up of me. I know we haven't talked in two years. I know I did that. I know I promised I wouldn't. Promised I wouldn't leave you. It was a stupid promise. I'm sorry, Seungcheol. For everything. Is it too late to say that now? I know I really fucked things up. I loved you so much and I was so scared. That's not an excuse. I don't want to make any excuses. I know you were scared too. I know I hurt you. I still love you. I think I'll always love you. Is that selfish of me? I shouldn't have said that. I shouldn't have told you the first time, years ago when we were both just scared children, and I shouldn't have written it now. Don't forgive me. For any of this. I'm writing this to make myself feel better. I can't sleep because I feel so guilty. So this is about me, not you. Don't forgive me. You're a good kid Choi Seungcheol. You're a good person with a good heart and you deserve to be happy. Don't let anyone make you feel differently. No matter what, I want you to know I've always wanted you to be happy. You deserve the world and I could never give it to you. One day you'll meet someone who can. I'm sorry. I love you. I hope you don't forgive me.

Love,

Jang Doyoon


	2. Chapter 2

Dear Seungcheol,

  
I wasn’t sure I would ever write you again. I really hoped I wouldn’t. Is it okay if I write you again? Is anything I’m doing right now okay? I dreamt of you last night. You were beautiful and right there but still somehow unreachable. If I’m being totally honest, I dream of you most nights. And you’re always slipping away from me, just out of my grasp. Why is it like that? Why are we doomed even in my dreams? Do you think there’s a world where we’re happy? Where I didn’t screw everything up? I can’t find one no matter how hard I look, asleep or awake. I’m sure you still sleep dead as a log, no dreams at all, peaceful. I want that for you. I can take on this pain for both of us. It is all my fault after all. I’ve always been such a coward. I ran away and now I only see you in my dreams. But I feel the inescapable loneliness, the space between us, like a hole in my heart even when I’m awake. I deserve this. I’m still sorry Seungcheol, I still love you.

  
Love,  
Jang Doyoon

  
P.S. I know it was your birthday recently, I’m sorry I didn’t call. Jihoon told me you didn’t change your number. I guess you know I did. Don’t forgive me.

**Author's Note:**

> another (short) depressing seventeen fic from ao3 author bwee? shocking.  
> (this could potentially be a series depending on how many nights i'm emo this summer)


End file.
